By Estelle Rodis-Brown
“I never want to be a burden to you,” Dad often told my mom and us kids. He was always the man with a plan… a retirement plan, an investment plan, an end-of-life plan.
So it seems almost intentional that, 12 years since his passing, we’re still digging through the endless layers of papers, books and memorabilia he left behind. As mom readies the family home for sale after 50+ years, Dad’s stuff has become the biggest burden.
SAVERS
This isn’t a simple case of piles of worthless junk. It’s a complex, systematic outgrowth of decades of saving every scrap of paper that my dad was convinced could be useful someday in terms of research, record-keeping or posterity. Volumes of neatly-clipped receipts from daily purchases (1941-1978); paper bags filled with newspaper clippings; file drawers stuffed with syllabi, professorial lecture notes and graded essays represent the tip of the iceberg.
But mingled between those leaves of mundane paperwork, we have discovered late-night notes my dad wrote to his loved ones; immigration papers, a marriage license and other valuable documents; even a series of neatly-pressed $20 and $50 bills, separated out in monthly pay-stub envelopes. We have to sift through every file, every book, every box, just to ensure we don’t miss something truly worth keeping.
My family is not alone. According to a 2018 TD Ameritrade survey, 42% of Americans plan to downsize after retirement (25% moving to a warmer climate; 17% moving closer to family and 6% moving to a senior living community). Thousands of people are wading through stuff accumulated over a lifetime… their own or their parents’. If you’re among them, help is here to keep you from drowning in it.
WHERE TO BEGIN
Once you take stock of all the stuff crammed into closets and storage rooms, you could be tempted to chuck it all into the nearest dumpster. Don’t!
According to Stephanie Pulling, Sales and Marketing Director at Transitional Design Services (an estate liquidator based out of Akron), there are specific steps you should take to sort and declutter while preparing the family home for sale.
“No matter the size of the space or home a person is attempting to declutter or downsize, it is overwhelming,” she admits. “Typically, people start to think about this process and think ‘big space’ like the basement needs to be cleaned out, but we recommend that you actually start small, with something very manageable like a desk drawer or a nightstand. This way, you feel accomplished in a short amount of time.”
Pulling says sort items into one of only four categories. Mark each box, tub and furniture with painters’ tape or marker accordingly:
- RETAIN (furniture, art, collectibles, memorabilia you want to keep)
- SELL (items with a monetary value but you can live without)
- DONATE (items that are useable or can be recycled but aren’t valuable enough to sell)
- DISPOSE (trash, broken items, recyclables, hazardous waste, papers that need to be shredded)
STEP BY STEP
Pulling stresses that starting small ensures early victories that will keep you motivated to continue the process and see you through to putting your house on the market and making a happy transition to your retirement property:
- First, make a mental commitment to get started on a specific date. Mark it on your calendar and stick with it.
- Give back everything in your home that does not belong to you. This includes your kids’ trophies, prom dresses, school projects, toys, books, etc. Set a date that they need to be picked up. Otherwise, you must discard them or give them away.
- Throw away broken, stained and chipped items. These cannot be sold or donated.
- Donate/sell clothes and shoes that don’t fit. Current-style clothes, shoes, coats, purses and accessories can be sold on consignment. Start with the current season. Attempting the entire closet at once can be overwhelming.
- Donate/sell furniture and housewares you don’t like, are outdated or that you won’t use. Start with the items that fail to bring you happiness. (Pyrex nesting bowls and mid-century modern furniture are common but are popular/valuable to sell.)
- Pare down collections like Lladro and Hummel figurines, Longaberger baskets and vinyl to sell. Take a photo of the collection and have the photo professionally matted and framed to preserve the memory.
- Avoid holding onto items that look nice but aren’t practical. Keep furniture that has more than one function, such as a storage ottoman.
- Get rid of the guilt. Stop saving things “just in case” you need it.
- Hire someone to help you. They can help you think less emotionally and keep you on task.
ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS
If you have difficulty determining value, there are specific questions you should ask as you sort:
- Do I like this item?
- Do I need this?
- Have I used it in the last six months?
- Can someone else use it?
- Does it work?
And when weighing sentimental value against monetary value, ask: Can this item be replaced? Would I want to replace it?
Pulling says, “If it brings great memories and it can’t be replaced, consider hanging onto it. Don’t ponder the price you paid or the price it’s listed for on eBay or selling sites. Both are irrelevant. The item can only be sold if someone else finds it valuable.”
CLEAR YOUR SPACE; CLEAR YOUR HEAD
Pulling says that this is a process of “decluttering your head; not just your living space.”
At first, many people can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel (the move being done and the house sold) because they have so much furniture and boxes of unwanted things in their homes. But clearing a small space can oftentimes declutter a person’s mind so that they are no longer paralyzed by the enormity of the process.
“If they know they are downsizing one day and they know they don’t want to move their dining room set, spare bedroom furniture and old couches in the basement, then removing these items as a start to the process is oftentimes what it takes to ‘clear their heads’ of the clutter,” Pulling explains. “The china that was used once a year, the crystal stemware that hasn’t been used in five years and the candlesticks that you never liked, can be sold along with the dining room set and now this room will be cleared.”
Some older seniors feel easily defeated because they no longer have the physical ability to get into the attic or crawlspace, so they need to wait for someone to help them. While they may want to call a junk hauler and just be done with it, it’s better if they hire someone to place the items on tables in the garage or a spare room. Then the owner can sort for themselves, maintaining control of the situation, categorizing items appropriately.
Pulling explains, “At Transitional Design, our Senior Move Managers physically assist our clients with the downsizing and decluttering process, but our clients are in charge and are ‘driving the train.’ We are there to guide them and help them make choices based on their needs, lifestyle and desires. No two clients are the same. Every family situation is different and we develop a plan that will work with each person.”
The sorting process isn’t all drudgery, Pulling says. Unexpected finds, surprises and amazing discoveries are commonplace.
“Jewelry, credit cards, keys, priceless photos and heirloom pieces lost for years are discovered on nearly every estate clean-out that we do, but uncovering a solid gold bar in a dresser drawer and suitcases filled with collector stamps are probably among the most amazing discoveries we have come across.”
Decluttering and downsizing is not a journey for the faint of heart but there can be many joys along the way, as long-forgotten memorabilia stir up stories of yesteryear. Those are the ones to keep.
TAKE IT, PLEASE
Older people can get upset when family members do not want their things. Stephanie Pulling says there are four main reasons why:
#1. They have their own belongings that they have chosen, and they prefer these things.
#2. Younger generations move frequently, so they don’t want clutter or heavy, bulky furniture.
#3. Younger people are typically more casual entertainers with no use for formal china or silverware.
#4. Open-concept homes are common and young people typically don’t have a formal dining area (or the dining room is used as a home office or a playroom).
photo credit: Estelle Rodis-Brown
