Dad Said It Best
Age-Old Truths for Modern Times
By Estelle Rodis-Brown
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” ~William Edward Hickson (1803 – 1870, England)
Most of us are eager to turn the page on 2020, put the year in the rearview mirror and move on. As we set our hopes on the promise of returning to some semblance of normal in 2021 after our personal and work lives have been totally disrupted by the COVID-19 pandemic, we can begin formulating new goals and resolutions to be met in the upcoming year.
Yes, making resolutions and setting goals can make us cringe, because we’re all too aware of the unmet heights we attempted in years past. But, as my father would say as he assigned each of us kids a list of 10 new resolutions every New Year’s Day… if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
In other words, resolutions are like a journey’s pathway. Always keep the destination as your goal, but recognize the lessons learned along the way, reaping those short-term benefits as rewards to sustain you toward the goal. What feels like failure is often just a curve in the road. Stay with it. You’ve already made some progress. Don’t lose ground.
It’s admittedly easier to simply avoid setting goals. Why set yourself up for disappointment and embarrassment by declaring bold objectives, when chances are, your resolve to follow through will fade away early, like pale winter sunlight? Well, because the alternative assures a mundane, boring, uninspired outcome. Put another way: If you continue to try, you cannot fail. If you fail to try, you’ve failed already.
Go ahead and take that risk. You don’t have to tell all your Facebook friends about it. Just make a personal commitment to pursue one main objective this new year, whether it be to improve your health, get a promotion, save up for something special, help a certain someone, join a group, volunteer somewhere, write a memoir, or better yourself in some other way. Make the goal specific and reasonable, then share it with at least one trusted companion who will keep you accountable.
The rewards you collect along the way will surprise you and will likely motivate you to pursue additional challenges. This exercise of self-discipline and goal-setting can stir up your zest for life, even on these dreary winter days.
According to Mind Tools, a newsletter dedicated to essential skills for an excellent career, “Many people get demoralized when, year after year, they make resolutions that they keep for only a few weeks or maybe even just a few days. This occurs because the focus is on the “what,” not the “how.” When you’re more concerned with the goal you set than on the specifics of how you are going to accomplish it, or even whether it is realistic and achievable, you can set yourself up for failure.”
Five Rules for Goal-Setting will prepare you for success right from the start. Inevitably, you will come up against challenges and roadblocks along the way. By planning ahead and following these rules, you will be better positioned to negotiate these easily, rather than stumble and quit.
1. Set Goals that Motivate You
When you set goals for yourself, they must motivate you. Make sure that they are important to you, and you find value in achieving them. If you have little interest in the outcome, or they are irrelevant given the bigger picture, then chances are slim that you will put in the work to make them happen.
2. Set SMART Goals
For goals to be powerful, they should be designed to be SMART. Rather than being vague and open-ended, achievable goals should be:
•Specific
•Measurable
•Attainable
•Relevant
•Time Bound
3. Set Goals in Writing
The physical act of writing down a goal makes it real and tangible. You have no excuse for forgetting about it. As you write, use the word “will” instead of “would like to” or “might.” Add it to your smartphone or laptop reminders. Set sticky notes around the house. Written reminders are powerful.
4. Make an Action Plan
By writing out the individual steps, and then crossing each one off as you complete it, you’ll realize that you’re making progress towards your ultimate goal.
5. Stick With It!
Remember, goalsetting is an ongoing activity, not just a means to an end. Build in reminders to keep yourself on track, and make regular time slots available to review your goals. Make sure the relevance, value, and necessity remain high.
If, for whatever reason, you get too busy, sick, overwhelmed or motivated to stay on track, take a deep breath, re-set your goal, review these five steps, and try, try again. Dad said it best.
