How are you?
Catching up with seldom-seen friends and acquaintances isn’t meant to be stressful. You talk about work, travel, health and — almost certainly — your children and grandchildren.
But if your family tree includes estrangement from adult children, seemingly genial conversation can feel like a punch in the gut. What do you say if you haven’t talked to your adult child in months or years, and how do you say the choice was theirs, not yours?
I encountered this situation a few times over the holidays when I bumped into people I hadn’t seen in a while. When talk turned to kids and grandkids and details were scant, I figured something was up with the relationship. Sometimes I heard the details, but more often, the topic shifted to something else. Relationships are complicated, and if someone is more of a friend or a friendly acquaintance, the details are best left unsaid.
Estrangement from adult children is complex and uncomfortable. About one in four of us will deal with a family member who is estranged. What if that one in four is you?
Here’s a story from sixtyandme.com about one aspect of estrangement from adult children: What to say when people ask about your estranged children.
