How strong is your silly gene?
We get it. Life’s complicated. Family, health, politics and money drag us down. But what if we tried looking at things through a different lens? Call it a silly screen that reframes setbacks and frustrations. Irksome becomes absurd. Rudeness, ridiculous.
Not every slight or annoyance deserves a reciprocal response. Sometimes – not every time – but sometimes, laughter is the best response.
NEO stand-up comic Bil Benden has been finding the absurd and talking about it on comedy stages around the country since 1988. To be fair, humor is part of his family tree with storytelling and laughter part of most family events, even sad ones like funerals.
“The strongest metal comes out of the hottest fires,” he says. “People just need to try and look at (things) as a kid. We just forgot how. A kid looks at something and if it’s absurd, they know it’s absurd.
“You can’t look at things through angry eyes. Comedy is the unexpected. You see with wondrous eyes, with kids’ eyes. You have to come at it with an open heart; you’ve got to bring humanity to it. We’re the only animal that knows it’s dying – you can get angry or laugh. For everything, but especially for comedy, you’ve got to lighten up.”
Tim Folger occasionally performs at local comedy clubs. His day job is vice president of sales for Integrity Window Co. in Lakewood. Like Benden, his observational comedy is based on what’s happening in his life. He also uses his comedic talents in the workplace, using humor to connect with customers.
“Any situation you run into where there’s a problem, you can still get your point across without being mean. Find the funny in things, emphasize the ridiculousness. Find the funny in everyday life,” Folger says.
Jeff Blanchard is another local comic who cultivates real-life experiences into humor on the stage. He points out that comedy is a balance between war and truth. Consider the phrases comedians use when describing a performance, he says: “We killed the audience. We slayed them.”
“I think it’s great to stand up for a cause, but I think we lost track of what’s important. You can’t stretch the rubber band so far to say everything is offense. It’ll snap back,” he says. “Improv is about timing and learning to organize your thoughts to be quicker on your feet.”
When you take yourself too seriously, “then suddenly, you start thinking your ideas are the only ones out there. Debate is one of the best tools to learn and grow. Listen; if we stop listening, if you’re too intense, you’re not open. People get offended and they don’t know why, so you lose yourself.”
Blanchard continues, “If you want to lighten up, literally then don’t take yourself so seriously. Not everything is a cause.”
Stand Up for Downs
Improv Group Uses Comedy to Hone Real-Life Skills
Rob Snow sees the humor in Down syndrome.
So do the members of his improv group who meet weekly, fine-tuning their stage and comedy chops.
Oh, did we mention that they have Down syndrome?
The Medina resident is a former stand-up comedian and the father Henry, 9, who has Downs. Snow last year started the Stand Up for Downs improv group, an offshoot of his private, non-profit organization of the same name.
.
The nine-member troupe, whose members range from 19-31, practices not only their comedic timing but also body and language skills that will be helpful in the workplace and in social situations: eye contact, self-confidence, articulation, quick thinking and poise, among others.
They have held several performances but are gearing up for their main performance planned for July.
Snow says the techniques practiced with the improv team – he calls them “improvaneers” – are skills anyone can use to develop their silly side. Using humor to reframe events and being able to think about situations differently or to articulate a response can diffuse uncomfortable or awkward encounters.
Snow has been on the public speaking – with humor – circuit for several years, usually appearing before parent groups and others working with children with disabilities. All proceeds benefit organizations that support Downs. In the past four years, he’s raised and given more than $250,000.
A sense of humor is one of the first traits other notice about someone, Snow says.
“There’s almost no one who doesn’t have a sense of humor. Sometimes it’s big, sometimes it has to be drawn out. To draw it out, just noting those areas of life where people are laughing can help,” he adds.
What movies, what people, what things make you laugh? Some people are laugh-out-loud people, others are not, Snow says. When you find things that “make you happy and it makes people laugh then your troubles seem to go away, at least temporarily. We strive in life to feel better and humor and laughter does that. Look what it’s doing with people with Down syndrome; they’re enhancing their lives.
Funny Business
To learn more about Stand Up for Downs, go to standupfordowns.org.
To see Bil Benden’s upcoming schedule and for more information, go to bilbenden.com.
Jeff Blanchard can be reached through comedypro.com.
Marie Elium comes from a long line of storytellers and people who find absurdity in the ridiculous.
