The over-60 crowd represents the fastest-growing segment of online daters, according to AARP. Companionship is a top reason both men and women 60 and older seek love, while most of those 50 to 59 are looking for a serious relationship.
If you’ve been out of the dating scene for decades and wonder if you’re up to the challenge, maybe now’s the time to give it a try.
PLENTY OF OPTIONS
“It is not true that ‘all the good ones are taken.’ says Elana Averbach, founder of KickStartLove, a Cleveland-based dating service. “Senior singles are the fastest-growing demographic on online dating sites, and there are many wonderful men and women right here in Northeast Ohio who are searching for love.”
You may want to try online dating sites such as Match.com and eHarmony. com or go to Senior Match, AARP Dating and Our Time, which cater to senior singles.
Averbach also recommends OkCupid.com (free), and Coffee Meets Bagel, which connects you to friends of friends through Facebook.
Local dating experts also advise after meeting someone special to plan dates that are active, not passive. A first date can feel like a job interview if you’re seated across a restaurant table asking each other questions. Instead, select interactive experiences around Northeast Ohio, like visiting the Holden Arboretum in Willoughby, a Cleveland Metropark or ride a zip line course.
“Jump right into an experience together… then afterwards, enjoy conversation over a cup of coffee,” says Dawson, relationship coach and “104 Dates In and Around Cleveland” author. “Hanging out in a harness for a while or making sidewalk art during the Cleveland Museum of Art’s Chalk Festival will make a memory for you. You’ll have plenty to talk about.”
Be patient. “Plan fun dates, stay up past your bedtime getting lost in conversation, and allow the relationship to grow organically,” Averbach says.
Also, be yourself, Dawson advises. “If you present a false front, those you attract won’t be responding to the real you. Be real. If you delve into online dating, upload a recent digital photo for your profile.”
USE CAUTION
While you want to go feet first, you do want to proceed with some caution and know your own boundaries.
“When you meet a stranger — whether online or in your local pub — you need to be cautious until you know more about them,” Averbach says. “There are horror stories of people being swindled for money, or unwittingly finding themselves in a relationship with someone who’s already married. That being said, online dating is also one of the most effective ways of expanding your social circle and connecting with potential matches.”
She suggests a few basic safety rules. Conceal personal information (your last name, home and work addresses) until after your second date, never send money to someone you meet online and always meet in a public venue for the first date.
If you know someone’s full name, you can search for them online to uncover additional information.
“Fortunately, in a cozy city like Cleveland, you’re likely to have friends or acquaintances in common with people who you meet online, which can make meeting in person more comfortable and more exciting,” Averbach says.
WAIT A YEAR
“When fear, need and desperation are your chief motivators, you’re headed in the wrong direction,” Dawson says.
If you recently lost a partner to death or divorce, she recommends waiting four seasons — one full year — before seeking romance.
“There are seasons for everything, including grieving and loss,” she says. “Get through the first holidays, the first anniversary, the first birthday without your previous mate before entering into a new union. Otherwise, you may stumble into a rebound relationship.”
Being alone can be initially scary, Dawson adds, but it’s the best way to regroup and re-establish who you are and what you want going forward.
KEEPING NEW LOVE WARM
The coals of any fire need to be stirred to stay hot and to rekindle a flickering flame. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or embarking on a new dating adventure, the key is to do enjoyable new things together, and often.
Once you’re in a committed, long-term relationship, don’t get lazy,” Dawson says. “Keep the spark alive by “daily letting the other person know how much they matter to you. If they most appreciate acts of service, help them out with a household chore. If words of affirmation make them feel loved, write them a note or send them a loving text.”
