Editor’s Note
Maybe I’ve been watching too many home makeover shows — and there’s a 100% chance that’s true — but I’m tackling a renovation of my own this summer: Control Revamp 2022.
Big stuff, minor stuff, it doesn’t matter. I’ve stockpiled a lifetime of frustration trying to force things to happen that are beyond my influence. I’m done with it.
Here’s an example that should have taken me down this road of revelation decades ago but didn’t: When I was 16, I lost my driver’s education certificate, a document required for the driving part of the license exam.
Unwilling to wait three weeks for a replacement, I borrowed a friend’s certificate, erased her name and typed mine in. An inexpert forgery by a teenager on a typewriter in the public library breakroom where I worked that summer should have been an easy catch for the license bureau worker, but he missed it.
I took my driving test and got my license, but was busted almost immediately because the chagrined examiner realized (while I didn’t) that the certificate had a date indicating it had been used to get a driver’s license the week earlier.
After an intimidating interview by a state trooper, a sobering appearance before a court referee, and a fine that took a chunk of my summer wages, I was dealt the biggest punishment of all: I had to wait six months before taking the test again.
Lessons Not Learned
I won’t rehash other Failure To Control issues in the decades since then. In hindsight, I should have learned to let things play out, see what happens, go with the flow. Apply your own euphemism.
My epiphany came last month when I tried snorkeling for the first time. I have an enormous amount of confidence when tackling new things, a confidence based on scant evidence and few skills.
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