Better Thinking
By Lindsay Walker, Executive Director for the Alzheimer’s Association, Cleveland Area Chapter
Are You a Sandwich Generation Caregiver? If So, you are Not Alone
According to the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC) there are more than 11 million Americans caring for an adult family member due to health needs or disability, while also caring for children at home.
You step in where care is needed. You figure it out. Sometimes you have to make medical decisions for those you love. Sometimes it is you – you alone – giving medicines, making sure your loved one eats, assisting with personal hygiene.
In Ohio, more than one in three dementia caregivers are in the sandwich generation. Carolyn Kulawiak is one of them.
“You are constantly in a tug of war, worried about who is getting the short end,” Kulawiak said. “You feel stretched to the max and 24 hours in a day is not enough time to take care of everyone and everything. It is physically and emotionally exhausting, but also rewarding when you know that you are helping to make your loved one’s life the best that it can be.”
Kulawiak, of Aurora, thought she was approaching being an empty-nester as her oldest daughter headed to college and her two younger daughters started high school. But when her 85-year-old father died unexpectedly last year, things changed for her. She stepped into the role of primary caregiver for her mother, who was diagnosed with dementia after her husband’s death.
Jodi Audino of Solon is raising two young children while helping her parents after her father’s dementia diagnosis. She told us, “My biggest stress is juggling everything and prioritizing,” she said. “I’m making sure my kids get to school OK while also making sure my dad’s pills are filled.”
Making sacrifices has been an invaluable learning experience for her children, Audino said. “They know that whatever Papa Bear and Grammy need, I am there for them,” she said. “They are understanding the importance of making memories as a family.”
The Alzheimer’s Association Cleveland Area Chapter has a specific caregiver support group for adult children that meets virtually the second Wednesday of each month at 7 p.m. and again on the last Monday of each month at 6:30 p.m. It is open to the public. To join, call the Association’s 24/7 Helpline at 800.272.3900.
If you are a sandwich generation caregiver, here are some tips for you:
Take care of yourself: Making sure you are healthy can help you to be a better caregiver to others.
Maintain good communication: Help your partner or spouse and your children understand the demands you are facing and enlist their help and support.
Seek support: Contact the Alzheimer’s Association, the Council on Aging or the statewide Pro Seniors advocacy group because these organizations can connect you with adult day programs, in-home assistance, companions and meal delivery programs, among many other services.
Talk to your employer: Some companies offer flexible schedules or allow telecommuting. Discuss potential accommodations that can be made that will allow you to remain productive at work.
Make a plan while your loved one can still make decisions: Make an appointment with an elder care attorney and hold a frank discussion with your parents or loved ones about their financial situation and their wishes for their care when their dementia progresses.
Lindsay Walker is Executive Director for the Alzheimer’s Association Cleveland Area Chapter. You can reach her at [email protected].
The Alzheimer’s Association is a worldwide voluntary health organization dedicated to Alzheimer’s care, support and research. Visit alz.org or call 800.272.3900.
Image courtesy pexels.com
