By Margaret Briller
Before the internet, matchmaking likely involved a friend setting you up with a cousin, or a coworker introducing you to someone who’s “perfect for you.”
That still happens, but it’s also now respectable to fish in a much larger pool by using dating websites. For those of us 50+, it’s nearly a requirement.
Single but Looking
About one-third of the estimated 85 million Baby Boomers in North America are single,
according to AARP. Many have already experienced marriage, parenthood, divorce or death of a spouse. With longer-than-ever life expectancies and financial security, many are also looking for a relationship. They’re ready to jump — or at least tiptoe — into the dating pool.
The good news is that online dating has gotten a jumpstart amid the pandemic, quarantine and initial vaccine rollout. As COVID-19 lingered, people got creative in finding ways to connect. Even as older daters await the coronavirus vaccine, they’re still navigating dating sites to find romantic partners who are active and vibrant and who share a sense of adventure.
There are many dating sites available (fee-based or free) to look for a love — or at least a like — match. One online site that brings older singles together is OurTime.com, specifically designed for 50+ dating.
Others include SilverSingles, Christian Mingle, eHarmony, Match.com and Elite Singles. Regardless of the site you settle on, you’ll need to create an online profile that both accurately reflects who you are and who you want to date.
Writing Your Profile
Where do you start? First, create an online dating profile to help “sell” your looks, interests and personality to total strangers. Here are some tips from OurTime.com for creating that standout profile:
- Post interesting photos. Include one with you smiling, and participating in a favorite activity or travel photos. A full-length body photo gets more incoming messages than without.
- Grab the spotlight. Avoid group pictures or a photo with animals; those get fewer messages than the average.
- Post your unique side. Highlight the real, authentic you to show off what makes you different.
- Keep your profile positive. Don’t include a laundry list of what you want and don’t want in a romantic partner. It makes you appear negative.
- Add engaging tidbits. Everyone loves to take beach walks, so leave it off your profile. Instead, share an interesting detail or name your favorite Chinese restaurant.
- Start the conversation. At the end of your profile, offer up an opening line, such as “Ask me about the last book I read,” or “If you’re not sure what to message me about, just ask about my dog.” It makes it easier for someone to send you a message.
- Be truthful. Resist the urge to lie about age, height, body type or absolutely anything else. You don’t want the foundation for a relationship based on a lie.
- Enlist an editor. Ask a friend with good judgment to give you candid feedback on your grammar, spelling and tone.
- Post your masterpiece. Now your profile becomes the best version of yourself. Good luck!
Meet Your Date
Hi, I’m …
How do you navigate dating during a pandemic? OurTime.com recommends chatting online or video chatting prospective dates on its dating site platform. These sites have safety message filters to keep you safe.
Asking questions helps screen any red flags or personal deal-breakers. When you feel more comfortable, proceed to exchanging phone numbers, but don’t be in a rush. Take your time to get to know the other person.
OurTime.com believes using video as the new “first date” is a good way to test the chemistry and to get to know each other better before you meet in real life (IRL). Be sure to remove any personal or identifying information that could show up in the background while you chat.
Every site will have liars and scammers as well as those who post misleading photos and fudge their age. Research more with your head than your heart because there are also those who are genuine, honest and looking for love. Every site has success stories.
For Safety’s Sake
Online dating might be a new adventure for you if you’re over 50, so here are tips to help navigate the online dating terrain while keeping yourself, and your money, safe from romance scams:
- Do meet in a public place
- Don’t disclose any personal information such as your address or personal email
- Don’t post any photos that offer clues to where you live or work
- Don’t give money to anyone
- Don’t be afraid to walk away
For more information on avoiding romance scams, go to AARP.org/fraudwatchnetwork.
