Gardening Sweet Spots
By Donna Hessel
It’s February, and romance is in the air—along with thousands of bouquets of red roses that will be delivered to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
The florists are salivating. It’s one of their busiest holidays. FTD estimates it will sell 15 million roses this year, mostly bouquets of a dozen red ones that traditionally signify true love.
Using Floral Symbolism is Thousands of Years Old
Floral symbols were used by the early Chinese, Assyrians, Egyptians and Indians. Romans sat on beds of rose petals for their orgies. But it was the Turks in the late 17th century who developed the art of communicating with flowers. It was introduced in England in the early 1700s but it wasn’t until the 1800s that communication via flowers was popular. It allowed lovers to express their desires without the knowledge of ever-present parents or chaperones. Wealthy Victorians viewed entry tables and sideboards as ideal for showing off one’s position in society and ordered elaborate arrangements that they changed weekly. Favorites were roses, lilies, tulips, carnations and peonies.
In Victorian times, a hopeful suitor might also have sent a bouquet of red roses. But they needed to be mindful of how they were packaged and the recipient’s reaction. If the delivery was a rosebud with the leaves and thorns intact, it meant, “I fear, but I hope.” If the rosebud was returned upside down, it meant, “you must neither fear nor hope.” If the rosebud was returned with the thorns removed, the message was, “you have everything to hope for.” If the thorns were left but the leaves removed, it meant “you have everything to fear.” If the recipient kept the rosebud and placed it in their hair, it signaled “caution.” If it was held upright and placed over the heart, it was definitely a message of “love.” If held tilted downward, it was a sign the suitor should move on. When giving flowers in person, the giver had to be aware of how the ribbon was tied. If on the left of the bouquet stems, it ascribed the floral sentiment to the giver. If tied on the right, it was suggestive of the receiver. Whether the recipient took the gift with a right or left hand was also significant.
It was in the Victorian era that tussie-mussies became popular. The small bouquets of fresh or dried flowers surrounded by lace and tied with satin ribbons served both as a gift and to ward off bad smells (bathing without today’s indoor plumbing didn’t exist) and disease. The most useful flowers included heavily scented lavender, thyme and rosemary.
Because more than one dictionary existed, the possibility of error was always present. One example in a poem by Louisa Anne Twamley titled “Carnations and Cavaliers” describes how a knight gave his lady a pink rose, meaning our love is perfect happiness. His lady, either not knowing about the language of flowers or not caring, sent back to him a carnation, which meant refusal. The result was tragedy: the lovers died for each other’s love.
Create a Sentimental Bouquet
In our era of social media where every emotion is posted for any eyes to see, it is hard to imagine not being allowed to express an emotion except symbolically through a gift of flowers. However, should you wish to experiment with this tradition, here are some suggestions for a few familiar flowers you might choose to express a romantic sentiment for Valentine’s Day.
Notice there are no yellow flowers on the list. That’s because yellow flowers express negative feelings. Tussie-mussies are easy to make and popular gifts. Do keep in mind when packaging the flowers for your gift that the position of the ribbon also has meaning and the hand with which the flowers are received is critical. (Maybe you should have them delivered). Be sure to include a note explaining the meaning of the flowers you’ve selected since today’s recipient, most likely, is unfamiliar with the language of flowers!
| Flower | Meaning/Sentiment |
| Sweet Alyssum | worth beyond beauty |
| Globe Amaranth | immortality, unfading love |
| Amaryllis | pride |
| Aster | elegance and daintiness; talisman of love |
| Begonia | beware! I am fanciful |
| Bluebell | constancy and humility |
| Carnation-red | admiration |
| Carnation-white | pure and ardent love |
| Chrysanthemum-red | I love |
| Cockscomb | affection |
| Daisy | I share your sentiments |
| Fern | fascination |
| Forget-me-not | true love, forget me not |
| Gladiolus | you pierce my heart |
| Heliotrope | devotion |
| Hibiscus | delicate beauty |
| Honesty | honesty |
| Impatiens | refusal and severed ties |
| Iris | faith, wisdom and valor |
| Jasmine-white | amiability |
| Larkspur | open heart and ardent attachment |
| Lily-white | sincerity and majesty |
| Lily of the Valley | purity and humility |
| Narcissus | egotism and conceit |
| Nasturtium | conquest |
| Pansy | thoughtful recollection |
| Peony | healing |
| Phlox | sweet dreams and proposal of love |
| Primrose | young love |
| Rose-pink | our love is perfect happiness |
| Rose-red | love and desire |
| Rose-white | charm and innocence |
| Rosebud | beauty and youth |
| Sedum | lover’s wreath |
| Snowdrop | hope and consolation |
| Sunflower | homage and devotion |
| Tiger Lily | wealth and pride |
| Tulip | symbol of the perfect lover |
| Verbena | may you get your wish |
| Violet | modesty and simplicity |
| Zinnia | thoughts of absent friends |
I leave you with this poem that conveys a lot of romantic sentiment using the language of flowers.
Beneath a sky of twilight’s sigh, where moonbeams kiss the fading rose,
I weave a tale in blossoms fair, a love unspoken, heaven knows.
Forget-me-nots, so blue and shy, confess a heart that longs for yours,
While lilies pure, with heads held high, speak softly through the twilight hours.
A sprig of fern, for hope that clings, entwines with passion’s smoldering fire,
And crimson poppies, love’s sweet stings, whisper of dreams we both desire.
The blushing rose, with petals curled, reveals a secret, tender rhyme,
A promise whispered to the world, in this bouquet that speaks in time.
So take these blooms, my love, I pray, and hear their silent melody,
A floral sonnet spun this day, a fragrant vow for you and me.
May pansies, thoughts of you, unfold, as morning paints the eastern sky,
And daisies, innocence untold, proclaim our love shall never die.
In every bloom, a message lies, a whisper on the gentle breeze,
A Victorian valentine that sighs, “Forever yours, on bended knees.”
Full disclosure: I had been reading a lot about AI (artificial intelligence) and was curious to see what it would come up with given the request, “Write a poem using Victorian language of flowers.” I used bard.google.com as the AI resource. The above poem was submitted in less than three minutes! Needless to say, I was (still am) flabbergasted! As far as I know, it is not copyrighted, so feel free to tuck it into the bouquet you send to someone for Valentine’s Day.
Resources
The Language of Flowers by Sheila Pickles. Published by Harmony Books, a division of Crown Publishers, Inc. New York; 1990.
Garden Flower Folklore by Laura C. Martin. Published by The Globe Pequot Press, CT; 1987.
pexels-photo-6500521 (cropped and photoshopped)
