By Paris Wolfe
We play with them. We read to them. Sometimes we raise them. Grandparents can and often do play a big role in their grandkids’ lives. One of the most important may be something that doesn’t get much attention: our support of their organized sports.
Young people should get at least 60 minutes of physical activity per day, according to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. As generations have changed, only 24 percent of youth ages 6 to 17 meet that goal today, reports the National Survey of Children’s Health.
These numbers are frightening because of long-term health implications. Kids who are physically active are more likely to have healthy weight and are less likely to suffer chronic disease as adults.
Organized sports have benefits that reach beyond physical health. “Sports teach so many valuable lessons to young people,” says Sean McDonnell, director of athletics and varsity basketball coach at University School in Chagrin Falls. “The fulfillment that an athlete gets from practicing a new skill (a flip turn in the pool, a tennis backhand) and ultimately mastering it, can be invigorating. Likewise, when athletes experience setbacks through sports (losing a close game, giving up a home run) they begin to form resilience that can carry them through hard times later in life.”
Ana Thomas, vice president of youth development at the YMCA of Greater Cleveland, says “Most of us aren’t going to raise NBA or NHL stars, but sports are important. They help build the skills people need to be successful in life such as working on a team, working on a skill, working hard toward a goal. They teach how to bounce back from defeat.”
Team Players
Grandparents can play a role by supporting youth activity and development through sports participation. That may mean buying something during a fund drive or covering the pay-to-play fees for a grandchild. It might mean participating in the carpool to practices, cheering on a grandchild or even coaching their team.
“First and foremost, showing up to a game is a huge deal,” says Thomas. “It is important to give your time and energy to the sport they are working so hard to master.”
For those engaged as fans, simple etiquette will make the experience more enjoyable and rewarding for all involved. Kindness and good sportsmanship go a long way. Sports are supposed to be fun and healthful. Pressure to perform can defeat both goals and cause even the best athlete to “retire” while still in their single digits.
“Whether they’re attending youth sports’ contests or a varsity competition, adults should be mindful that the words they say and the tone they use have an impact on athletes during competition,” says McDonnell. “During competition, the most helpful language that spectators provide has an encouraging and/or celebratory tone.”
Cheering is a big part of sporting events and should stay positive. “We know from educational psychology it’s important to focus on the effort, not the outcome,” notes Thomas. For example, she says to tell a child, “I saw that you worked really hard to develop that skill” or “I saw that you were being a good teammate when so-and-so needed help.”
The focus shouldn’t be on winning. “Talk about how hard they tried to be on the team and to play well,” she advises.
“Grandparents can commend good sportsmanship and the importance of being a great teammate,” says McDonnell. “These reinforcements will help young people grow more than when adults comment on an athlete’s performance after a contest. When kids hear how much they please their grandparents by being a good teammate, it can only boost their self-esteem.”
When the game ends, he says keep your comments simple. “Whether they win or lose, it is always appropriate to tell a young athlete ‘I loved watching you play.’”
Two, Four, Six, Eight!
Who Do We Appreciate?
Grandparents!
Gametime Etiquette
- Be comfortable. Bring chairs or bleacher cushions. Prepare for the weather with coats, umbrellas, blankets, etc. as needed. Pack a beverage (or two).
- Let the coaches coach. Children need one voice — the coach’s — telling them where to focus and what to do. If a child’s performance needs to be corrected, the coach will do it. If you want to coach, Ana says the YMCA needs volunteers.
- Be a good sport. Don’t criticize other players or competitors. Look for positive actions to validate and reinforce in your sideline conversations. Remember these are kids, not professionals.
- Don’t dis coaches and referees in front of children. Don’t embarrass your grandchild or their team with outbursts at the referees or other teams. It’s just a game. If you have issues, sit with your concerns then determine whether they need to be addressed with the child’s parents or sports officials.
- Get into the spirit. Wear your athlete’s team colors. Take them out for pizza or ice cream to celebrate or commiserate.
