Grandparenting Teens & Young Adults

By Traci McBride

Had we known how special being a grandparent was going to be, we might have had more kids.

Grandparenting has many rewarding milestones. Many of us have been blessed to live near our grandchildren, seeing them weekly or more often. Others manage the logistics of faraway kiddos. I juggle both scenarios, embracing all the“firsts,” knowing that the little ones won’t remember most of it and that they will be adults much longer than their fleeting childhoods.

Making Time
Life gets more complicated as grandkids age into their teen years and beyond. Staying involved is more challenging as their day-to-day lives get busy with college, jobs, relationships and, later, kids of their own.

Over time, a relationship with older grandchildren means seeing each other during the holidays and major family events. Grandparents can feel marginalized during this later stage. It is on us to look for opportunities and common threads of interest to stay relevant and connected. 

Struggling for ways to connect with the teens and young adults in your life? Here’s what worked for several Northeast Ohio grandparents:

Judy R. “My Margie (27) loves to cook, as I do. She set me up with an iPad so we could cook together virtually, as she is in Columbus. We choose recipes a week before so we each can shop and cook together to show her my secrets and techniques. We both love it.”

Joan G. “When my granddaughter Brittany was 12, we journaled about our experiences during a summer vacation. We had that passion in common for years. It has developed to an online-shared journal now that we are in different time zones, and we chat on Zoom every few weeks to continue our conversation. It means the world to me to help her during some tough times of being an adult with kids of her own now.”

Henry J. “My grandson, Mark (31) and I have an ongoing chess game on Facetime every Sunday morning over coffee.”

Howard & Gretchen H. “We love to RV and meet up for camping with our grandson Matt (39) and his wife and kids a few times a year for long weekends. We cook and laugh, swim and plan the next adventure.”

Finding Common Ground

The College Years

• Visit the campus and experience their day-to-day life
• Send care packages of home-made bakery, notes and photos to make them smile
• Attend a class with them

Do’s & Don’ts
DO – Invest in a smartphone or tablet. Choose the brand they use.

DO  –  Follow them on social media (Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, etc.). Ask first!

DO – Learn the technology of whatever social media they use so you can easily connect. Facetime, Zoom, Skype and Google Hangouts are the most popular and free.

DO – Listen to their music

DO – Accept the tattoos even if you do not understand why they have them (or get one with them)

DO – Organize family reunions. Connecting cousins and extended family deepens relationships for the generations.

DON’T – Make it all about you. Focus on their passions & dreams, regardless of what they are. 

DON’T – Lecture 

Do-Togethers
Journaling, gardening, boating, travel, birdwatching, swimming, tennis, cooking, decorating, collecting, antiquing, auto repairing, car shows, chess, checkers, creating a family cookbook that includes stories of inspiration.

Conversation Starters

• “What does a day in your life look like?” 
• “Who are your best friends and why?” 
• “What brings you joy?”
• “What would the perfect summer vacation look like?”

Resources

• Online: grandparentunleashed.com
• On Facebook: @grandparentgrandchildconnection
• A book and website: “Grandma’s in the Phone!” Shelbyhoefling.com

Traci McBride is not only a grandmother but is also a Northeast Ohio image consultant, author and volunteer. You can find her at teemcbee.com.