While our grandchildren are immersed in a “gimme-gimme-gimme” culture, don’t underestimate their capacity to be kind and generous, especially during the holiday season. And don’t overlook the power of your example in helping them reach that potential.
Aiden Burns, for instance, is a real-life superhero from Portage County who launched a charity for the homeless in 2018 when he was 7 years old.
It all started when Aiden was hanging out with his grandma, Teresa Bailey, while she packed up boxes of food and clothing for the homeless as part of a Thanksgiving donation drive for Akron’s Haven of Rest. This non-profit has been serving homeless and hungry men, women and children in Northeast Ohio for nearly 80 years, relying on the generosity of the community to provide shelter, meals, clothing and support in times of need.
As Aiden explained it, his grandmother told him about how sad it was that they had no socks left to hand out. She asked him if he wanted to do something to collect the socks and, together, they came up with the idea for Socks From Santa.
Warm Hearts, Warm Feet
“I am Santa and my little brothers Camden and Landon wanted to help, too,” Aiden explains. Because socks are the most requested item at homeless shelters, Aiden set a goal to collect 500 pairs of socks with the help of his “elves.”
Aiden’s enthusiasm inspired the adults around him to get involved. His parents established drop-off locations at Aiden’s school, area businesses and at their workplaces. Aiden’s mother, Angela, was working at a car dealership and his father, Zack, is the principal of Windham Jr./Sr. High School. His Uncle ‘Scooter’ Mark Hatfield helped Aiden create Socks From Santa pages on Facebook and GoFundMe.
In just two weeks, Aiden and his helpers collected more than 100 pairs of socks and $40 to buy more. By Christmastime, Aiden gathered 3,000 pairs of socks — 300 pounds in all — for the homeless at the Haven of Rest.
The pandemic paused the collection drive for a couple of holiday cycles, but this year Aiden is ready to give it another go; this time bigger. Teamed up with his best friend, Kyle Crisman, he hopes to collect at least 1,000 pairs of socks plus hats, gloves and gently used coats for good measure. His new campaign is called Socks & More From Santa.
Why does he do it? “I like helping people,” Aiden says. “I like to do it because I feel sad when I see homeless people without the food and clothes they need. But then it feels good when I do it and I realize it can change people’s lives. It makes me happy to make other people happy.”
Change Expectations
Every child has the capacity to be empathetic like Aiden. And considering the kink in Santa’s supply chain this holiday season, this may be a good opportunity to reevaluate expectations. Why not change the conversation, pivoting the children’s attention away from themselves and toward others?
Altruism is not a popular concept today but it’s worth introducing a new generation to it. Very simply, it’s the virtue of unselfish concern for other people’s happiness and welfare. Children may have an innate sense of care toward others, but cultural cues keep them more attuned to their own desires and demands. From commercials to popular films, social media and peer pressure, kids are trained to become voracious consumers with insatiable appetites for the latest new stuff.
Rather than perpetuating that cycle, grandparents can be role models who create a generous environment that starts in the home and then extends out into the neighborhood and community.
“Our job is to raise young ones who understand their role in the world,” says Laura Gerak, Ph.D., clinical director of psychology at Akron Children’s Hospital.
“It’s human nature (and developmentally appropriate) to be self-centered. We shouldn’t be surprised that children are self-involved. But we can provide the direction and support they need to see beyond themselves and nurture a sense of empathy for those around them,” she explains.
So, is it nature or nurture that makes a child altruistic? Aiden’s mother thinks it’s both. “His dad and I donate wherever possible and the kids see how we lend a hand whenever it’s needed. We set a good example but they have natural empathy, too.”
This holiday season, nurturing a giving nature could be the greatest gift of all.
INSPIRE EMPATHY
Laura Gerak, Ph.D., clinical director of psychology at Akron Children’s Hospital, offers practical tips on how to encourage our grandchildren to develop a stronger sense of empathy and kindness toward others.
- Start with them. Ask your grandchild to recall a time when they felt sad, then someone cheered them up. “Now, could you do something nice like that for someone else you know who has been having a hard time?
- Lead by example. The best way to stir up latent empathy is to be a good role model. Dr. Gerak calls it “exercising generational authority to lead the way by example in humility and within the natural rhythms of life.”
For instance, make it your practice to stop and get your car washed when teens offer the service as part of a fundraiser. Or bring your grandchild along when you bake a pie and deliver it to your new neighbors as a housewarming gesture.
- Fund their cause. In lieu of one of their gifts, you can make a donation in your grandchild’s name from a list of charities or causes — such as the giving tree at a local church/community center/library.
You can say, “ In honor of this holiday, I would like to work with you to give a gift to someone who would be as excited as you were with the gifts you opened today. Here are some ideas we can look at together.”
- Spending spree. Take your grandchild shopping for items to fill a care package of their choice, whether for an underprivileged child, a military service member, or someone in the hospital or in a long-term care center. Then the two of you can hand-deliver the gift and share in the joy of giving.
- Keep one, give one. Buy two identical gifts for your grandchild so they can enjoy one and give away the other to someone else they know will appreciate it.
- Reward for service. Generate the desire to help others in the neighborhood. In exchange for your grandchild offering to rake leaves, shovel snow or mow the lawn for a neighbor who needs the extra hand, reward them with a special treat, experience or gift card.
While these suggestions help grandchildren to exercise empathy, Dr. Gerak says that this approach also helps to curb grandparents’ tendency to spoil the grandkids. “As much as we want to do for our grandchildren, they can do so much for others with our support. This only increases their sense of meaning and connection to their family and community.”
In each case, the adult provides the structure, support and guidance while the children discover their newfound agency and power to affect positive change. The appreciative feedback and positive reinforcement they’ll receive will supply the fuel in their tanks to propel them further along the altruistic path.
DONATE NOW
If you want to support Aiden Burns’ Socks & More From Santa collection drive for the homeless this holiday season, bring new socks, hats and gloves as well as gently used coats to these drop-off locations:
- Mantua Village Tavern- Mantua
- Garrettsville IGA- Garrettsville, OH
- Shalersville Town Hall (designated times) – Portage County
- Fire House Grille and Pub- Akron
- Kelley and Ferraro – Cleveland
Or ship donations to:
Socks & More From Santa
Aiden Burns & Kyle Crisman
c/o Teresa Bailey
25 First Ave.
Mogadore, OH 44260
