July/Aug. 2022 EDITOR’S NOTE
by Marie Elium
I’m mad at my phone. No matter how bad I look, it recognizes my face.
The phone’s facial recognition feature has seen me at my worst: sleepy, sweaty, frizzy and just plain ratty. I rarely let the dog see me this way.
Nevertheless, the phone scans my face, says, “Yup, that’s definitely Marie,” and opens: a judge, jury and executioner of microchips and wires that sees me even when I don’t look like me.
You, Only Older
Lately, I’ve thought a lot about how other people see us. I just returned from a visit with my college roommates. It’s been 40 years since we graduated and, although we don’t live near each other, we get together at least once or twice a year. Betsy, Lynn, Myrt and me.
Myrt pulled out a scrapbook of grainy photos, concert ticket stubs and silly notes. There we were, from freshman year in goofy hats and Hawaiian leis, on camping trips and at parties, to finally graduation day, sporting happy-yet-bittersweet smiles.
Kids, marriages, widowhood, retirement, illnesses. A lot happens in 40 years. All of us have grown. But like my annoying phone, we still recognize each other.
We wandered around our college town last week, past our dorms and quads, posing for a few photos at the house where eight of us lived during senior year. Just four girls out having fun, right? Or creaky alums trying to recreate the past. It depends on your perspective. How we see ourselves is more important than how others see us.
Immature or Eccentric?
I no longer chain beer kegs to cinder blocks during parties, and I haven’t worn a plastic lei in years. I’m not above doing either one, for the record, but only because the occasions haven’t presented themselves.
And while I haven’t scribbled a silly note to a friend in ages, that’s an easy oversight to correct. Immaturity is troubling in your 30s and 40s, but I’m thinking it could be appealingly quirky in my 60s, perhaps even eccentric.
The takeaway from our college reunion is that there’s a difference between old friends and long-time friends, we’re lucky to remain close, and we look the same as we did 40 years ago.
My memory may not be as reliable as my phone’s software, but it’s more generous. I don’t see what the decades may have done to us physically, only the ways they’ve made us better.
Speaking of self-improvement, if you haven’t played pickleball,then read our story about this fast-growing sport that’s become a Boomer favorite (and spreading among younger folks, too). And our story about connecting with teen and young adult grandkids should be helpful if you find yourself spending time with them this summer.
I know about pickleball after writing the story about it, and my grandson is just 2, so communication isn’t an issue yet. I’m spending the rest of the summer outwitting my phone’s facial recognition feature. I want to see how lousy I can look before it gives up and says, “Wow, this can’t actually be Marie, can it?” and boots me out of my online banking account.
As a younger person might say, it’s good for old people to have goals.
~Marie
