EDITOR’S NOTE
By Marie Elium
Our family has enemies — lots of them.
I learned this disturbing — yet strangely comforting — fact during a recent getaway with my three siblings and our spouses.
A vacation for eight people in their 60s, or close to it, offers plenty of ways for plans to derail. Yet we pulled it off, and that’s when I learned about the enemy lists: High school bullies, a last-minute prom date dump, broken promises and other indignities. It all came out because of a book I tossed into my bag at the last minute: “4,000 Questions for Getting to Know Anyone and Everyone.”
As the oldest of four, I’ve known my siblings their entire lives, and their spouses for years. I’ve been married for 39 years. What else is there to know?
But under big beach umbrellas watching ocean waves, and on the dark deck at night, the stories spilled out, prompted by the question book. I thought I knew my siblings, but those were the brothers and my sister from my childhood, and later the grown-up married couples who attend family gatherings and holidays. With just the eight of us in a beach house, it was easy to clear away relationship clutter and see ourselves as the adults we are today, not the ones we remembered.
The question book was a springboard to dozens of stories that I’ve never heard, and a few I could have done without knowing. The outlaws — the spouses — held their own with reflective, funny and sometimes wild stories that drifted into other tales and helped me get to know them even better. The book did everything it promised, and more.
Back to Today
So, what does my family getaway have to do with your retirement, the theme of NEO Thrive’s Fall issue? Time.
With most of my family retired now, we finally had the time to spend with each other without the intrusion of school, work or family schedules. I’m not saying a sibling vacation is for everyone; I know plenty of families that couldn’t spend two minutes together. But retirement can provide space and time to get to know people who mean something to you, however and wherever that works for you.
So much about retirement cautions against unfilled time and boredom. We’re supposed to take a big trip, tackle our bucket list, volunteer, launch a new career… the list goes on. That’s fine, but I like the quiet part of retirement and the freedom it allows, like a sibling vacation with a book of questions.
Our Fall issue has stories about other types of getaways: by RV and by boat, with trips that are inspiring, impressive and joy-filled — a perfect send-off to retirement. We also have a story about getting your stuff and your finances in order as you head into this next phase of life. Remember when retirement seemed far off? For many Northeast Ohioans, it’s here now, and we’ll help you navigate through it.
I keep thinking about the sibling/outlaw enemy lists. Not every sibling or outlaw had one, and to be honest, I’m not sure those folks are a good judge of character; having an enemy or two makes it easier to keep straight who your real friends are. I’m keeping mine.
Plus, now that I know who has an enemy list, I’ll be more careful to stay off theirs. Retirement is not only about time, it’s also about hedging your bets.
