There’s no end to the topics that spur stress at family gatherings. Add a jam-packed holiday season into the mix and there’s no telling where a conversation will lead. Mayhem or merriment; it’s a choose-your-own adventure when it comes to families. In recent years, I’ve asked only one question when I meet up with a friend after a family get-together: Did everyone behave?
The folks at Cleveland Clinic have helpful tips for dealing with holiday party drama. In short, bring a good attitude.
-Editor Marie Elium
Now that the holidays are here, so are all of the family festivities. But not everyone looks forward to reuniting with relatives. So, what can you do to make those encounters a little less stressful?
“Family drama can be so stressful because when there’s drama, sometimes it can be really dramatic,”says Dawn Potter, PsyD, psychologist for Cleveland Clinic. “However, a lot of times people do try to be on good behavior at parties, and so if you try to bring an open, positive attitude with you, you can usually weather things.”
Dr. Potter says, if you go to a family get-together with the belief it’s not going to go well, you can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You unintentionally cause a problem that may not have otherwise happened, had you kept a more optimistic attitude.
Some other ways to help ease tension with relatives are to limit your interactions with them or avoid them altogether. It can also be helpful to have someone with you to act as a buffer. And of course, there’s always the chance that politics will come up in conversation—especially with the recent election.
Dr. Potter says, in that situation, it’s best to not engage. “Usually, somebody’s mind is not going to be changed at the dinner table. So, if you feel very strongly about something and someone else at your holiday party feels very strongly in the opposite direction, bringing it up in a group will never result in the kind of outcome you want,” she says.
“Hearts and minds are changed slowly over time, typically, and with personal relationships. So, if you must discuss politics, I recommend a one-on-one situation.”
Dr. Potter adds, if your stress or anxiety seems to be disrupting your day-to-day life, it’s worth talking to a mental health professional. They can help get to the root of the issue.
