Dad Said it Best
Age-Old Truths for Modern Times
By Estelle Rodis-Brown
While Dad said, Mom did.
My father was a man of many words, hence the title of my blog. In fact, Dad would customarily tell us, “Do as I say, not as I do.” But while Dad Said it Best, Mom has always led by example. Since we celebrate her 92nd birthday this August, I’d like to shine the spotlight on Mom this month. She may not seek the limelight, but she certainly deserves it!
Lovely as the Rose for which she was named, my mother has always been the embodiment of beauty, refinement and grace. Despite the fact that she was raising five children while caring for an ailing mother-in-law and accommodating her husband’s expectations, Mom presided over a household characterized by order, style and gracious hospitality. Even when she was single-handedly refinishing all the woodwork in our century home in between cooking three meals a day and keeping the house in company-ready order, Mom was the picture of calm, cool control (with a few notably dramatic exceptions).
Never trendy, Mom has always been a classic. When pop culture went for TV dinners and Spaghetti-Os during my childhood, Mom insisted on making dinner each night from scratch, according to timeless family traditions. She was ahead of the culinary curve, leading the way with the Mediterranean Diet before it had a name.
She also has an enduring disdain for automation and convenience, opting instead for physically-demanding chores and DIY projects that save money while offering a creative outlet for customization. Needless to say, Mom insisted on sewing most of our clothes, wallpapering/painting every wall, and tending ever-expanding gardens. With an eye for detail and no tolerance for cutting corners, she demonstrated excellence and expected no less from us, even if our chore was as basic as emptying wastebaskets.
Above all, Mom has exemplified sacrificial love. Having fought against 1950s convention and her father’s wishes in order to attend the Cleveland Institute of Art, she set aside her plans for a career in textile design in New York City when she married my father. She traded that glitz and glamour for middle-class motherhood. Yet she never held it against us.
I had never suspected that Mom had given up loftier dreams until I came of age and had my own. Then she empathized with me and supported my goals even when my father stood against them. That was no easy task for the wife who customarily held her tongue and stood by her husband’s ‘final’ word.
So I learned that my delicate Rose is also a steel magnolia, able to withstand tests and trials that would have withered a common flower. She has proven it again and again over time, having endured the deaths of my father and brother; maintaining an independent lifestyle in her own home; staying strong through COVID and other health concerns; and still extending her gracious hospitality and exceptional culinary creations with those she loves.
Still, at 92, my mother is an enduring example of beauty, grace and strength. Happy birthday, Mom! You do it best.
