Lagging Behind Punctuality

Lagging Behind Punctuality

Dad Said It Best
(Maybe not this time)
Age-Old Truths for Modern Times

Better late than never – George Bernard Shaw

Despite all of the virtuous words of wisdom Dad would punctuate his daily conversation with, he had nothing good to say about punctuality. 

While he tried to set us kids up for success in the areas of honesty, diligence, responsibility and kindness, none of his messaging supported the concept of being on time, except an occasional, “The early bird gets the worm.”

More often, he’d say, “It’s polite to be fashionably late. It’s rude to show up on time. Nobody’s actually ready then. They’re still rushing around, attending to last-minute details. Give them breathing space. Plan to get there 20 minutes after the official start time.”

Dad consistently practiced what he preached. Despite the fact that he was a college professor, served on many boards, was a WWII Army veteran and used to help operate his father’s restaurant, he never recognized the value of showing up on time, let alone early. 

Dad wasn’t in a hurry. In all things, he paused, pondered and paced himself. Every evening, after Mom would announce that dinner was ready, he’d delay, read more of his newspaper and then amble to the restroom. The rest of us would be seated around the table, waiting 10-15 minutes before he’d make his grand entrance. (And no, none of us would dare take a bite until the patriarch had taken his seat at the head of the table.)

He loved to quote George Bernard Shaw… “Better late than never.”

To this day, I can’t square this habit with the rest of my father’s disciplined approach to a life characterized by virtues that were considered good manners and recipes for success.

It’s not like he was a Southern gentleman steeped in etiquette suggesting a 20-minute grace period for those arriving fashionably late to a cocktail party.

Sometimes he would laugh off his tardiness, saying, “The world is in too much of a hurry. Everyone else should get on Greek time, like me.”

There is something to this notion of Greek time, especially when you are surrounded by the awesome beauty of the Grecian landscape, seaside, culture and architecture. It all culminates to bring about a different perspective, where time becomes an organic, malleable generality that follows the rising and setting of the sun. As I’ve seen it expressed by another Greek-American writer, Anna Maria Delinasiou, “There’s specificity and there’s time to live, there’s counting time and there’s Greek time…”

But we’re not in Greece. We’re in Northeast Ohio. This culture takes the clock seriously.

The truth is, Dad was an incurable procrastinator. (We’ll tackle procrastination in next month’s blog.)

At some level, Dad recognized he had a problem. He systematically set the clocks in the house to five minutes early, a futile attempt to propel himself forward in time. But since he was master of this ruse, it backfired on him. He knew he had five more minutes to play with.

When it came to the clock, Dad may not have said it best. We were habitually late for school, late to dinner invitations, late to church, late to weddings and funerals, late to the movies and all the rest. Typically, Dad couldn’t be pushed out the door until a half-hour after the event had begun. Despite the frustration it caused the rest of us, we inherited his habits.

It wasn’t until I met my future husband that I was confronted with the fact that being late is rude and inconsiderate. Of course, at first, I thought he was over-reacting. Cut from a different cloth, he was raised on a farm, trained to rise at the crack of dawn and get to work. His habit is to arrive a half-hour early, embodying the idea that being early means being on time. Being on time means being late. Being late is unacceptable. 

That’s still a stretch for me, but over the years, I have moved the needle in my own concept of what it means to be punctual. My bottom line is, will I be causing problems for someone else if I show up early, late or on time? It really depends on the scenario. If it’s a job interview or a structured meeting, I try to get there five to 10 minutes early. If it’s a dinner invitation, I aim for the appointed time. If it’s cocktail hour before a formal dinner, I’m comfortable arriving halfway through cocktail hour.

It’s all a balancing act, of course. I still cram too much into my day, waiting until the last minute to get myself ready and out the door. 

Sorry if I’m running late. Dad taught me well.

 

Photos courtesy pexels.com

About the author

Estelle Rodis-Brown is a freelance writer and photographer from Portage County who serves as digital/associate editor of Northeast Ohio Thrive and Walden Life magazines. In her Dad Said it Best blog, she shares how memories of her upbringing provide wisdom for modern life.

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