Aging and Life Enhancement
By Kathryn Kilpatrick, M.A.
Holidays often remind us of joy, companionship and new memories across the generations. With aging, there may be changes in hearing, vision, mobility and endurance, all which may impact an older adult’s comfort with participating in the many gatherings. Sometimes there is an awareness of these concerns or perhaps there have been some very subtle changes recently.
Hearing, mobility and even memory concerns may be more obvious, but when an older person has vision difficulties, they may seem to be less engaged or often unaware of some of the potential safety risks as a result.
– Holidays often bring many people together with lots of decorations, presents and changes in furniture arrangements in familiar settings.
– In addition, there may be many younger and active children joining in on the festivities.
– Sometimes there are pets coming in and out of the area.
– Low lighting or flashing lights can be a distraction.
– Even the setup for snacks. beverages, or a buffet may not be easy to navigate safely.
– Other obstacles could include candles, wrapping paper scattered about, space heaters, and even heated throw blankets, electric cords or decorative rugs.
Add to the bigger picture a situation when you remind a person with mild memory issues or hearing loss of something to watch for and that information is not heard or recalled, considering all the noise and distractions. What often happens is the older adult just stays put in the same location or they get overwhelmed and want to leave early.
Depending on the situation, consider these tips:
If there is an awareness of some concerns, share it with a few people who may be attending and willing to offer some extra supervision or support. Since many older adults are not comfortable being more dependent on others, approach the situation with sensitivity. Based on your observations, you may have some insights that would be helpful to look into further after the celebrations.
Holidays are about creating cherished memories with loved ones
and finding magic in the simplest moments.
~Jeremiah Say
I recall some holidays with my mom who had hearing and memory issues. At times, it appeared to me that it all became a little overwhelming. Something to consider is periodically moving to a quieter room for a break with just a few people coming and going. Maybe you can have dessert and listen to some music or look through old albums so there is still an opportunity to share some quality time – meeting them at a level that is more comfortable for them.
For your consideration:
*If some of these vision issues are already known, consider how you may provide some support ahead of time with perhaps their preparations for upcoming gatherings.
*After the holiday, consider what may be most helpful. Perhaps helping them decide where to put away gifts, writing thank you notes, organizing photos or just sharing the experience from their point of view.
You may even get a hint from that conversation of something to do differently for the next occasion or it might alert you to resources or assistance that may be needed in the future. It may become more obvious now that additional interventions/support may be indicated. Your follow-up to assure maximum safety while also supporting continued interactions in the future can enhance any experience.
I am only one, but I am still one. I cannot do everything,
but still I can do something.
~Helen Keller
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Perhaps it would be best to provide the transportation even if there is some resistance. The weather can change and fatigue and overload can impact judgment. Also, leaving when it is still light may be the better option.
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If the older adult has vision issues, it may be advisable to meet them at the car if on their own (or if there is another older person) to guide them safely to the entrance. Asking a teenager or younger person may not always be the best option under those circumstances.
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With all the busyness, be mindful about helping the older adult to adhere to their medication schedule and staying hydrated. They are less likely to get up and walk around and may even need to be reminded to take a periodic bathroom break with an overload of distractions.
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Take turns being the person who becomes aware of the needs of the person with vision concerns for a period of time. Share the responsibility with another person so each of you gets a chance to “do your thing.”
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Depending on your particular situation, some of these tips may apply. Consider sharing them with others who may have some concerns or similar circumstances.
“One person caring about another represents life’s greatest value.”
~Jim Rohn
