Grief isn’t something you wish or plan for. And the loss of a loved one can upend your life in ways you don’t know existed. Its normal, and the emotion that comes with losing someone from your life can be immense.
Planning for a funeral and what happens next, however, can be just as hard as the loss; it might even feel worse because this is when it becomes final.
One of the best things you can do as soon as you’re strong enough is to find a way to honor the person you loved. To give you a place where you can find them, feel them, and have a special connection to who they are or a memory.
What this can be looks different for everyone, but the best way to honor a loved one is to create something that reminds you of them, is representative of who they were and how they lived their life.
This post is going to look at some ways you can create a longer-lasting memory of your loved ones to bring you comfort.
Choose A Meaningful Place to Scatter Ashes
Not everyone will want their ashes scattered, but for those who would like their final resting place to be out in the world, it’s all a lovely way to honor them and what they would have wanted.
You can choose an ashes scattering service that takes you out onto the water to scatter ashes at sea, or you can scatter them in a location they loved, so they all always remain in a past that made them happy to choose somewhere you can visit again and again, knowing they are there. If you’re planning on scattering ashes in a public place, always check you can legally do so these days, and the experience isn’t marred by problems.
Plant a Living Memorial
A living memorial can be anything you wish, and in a place at home or a communal space that allows for this.
It can be a tree, a small garden, a rose bush, anything you wish or that they would have loved.
The idea behind this is that you have something that is living, breathing, and that grows and changes throughout each year. For extra meaning, choose something they loved themselves. You can turn this into a planting ceremony if you wish.
Alternatively, you can create a memorial garden at home if you can manage the upkeep or have someone do something for you.
Sponsor A Memorial Bench
This is something you need to do in conjunction with other businesses, your local council, or other governing bodies. But many local parks, state parks, and coastal areas allow for this type of memorial.
You pay a sponsorship fee to the appropriate company or committee, and you then choose the right type of bench or plaque for your memorial.
Typically, this is a time-limited option, that you’ll need to review every 5 years, for example, but you can extend it if you wish.
But this will give you somewhere to go and sit and feel close to them as a more tangible connection to where they are now.
Create Memory Book
This is a great choice if you want a more intimate and personal way to remember your loved one.
A memorial book is something you put together using pictures, mementoes handwritten notes in one angel keepsake. You get the whole family, friends, or colleagues to contribute to, and you can keep one master book that is accessible to anyone who wants to flick through it and reminisce with you whenever you want to.
Make A Charitable Donation
Charitable donations are a great way to support a good cause to help you channel your loss into something constructive.
You can donate with your time, or financially, however you wish. You can donate to a local animal shelter if they loved animals, or sponsor a dog that can’t be rehomed, or sponsor a future adoption.
You can make a regular or one-off donation, create a scholarship in their name, or hold an annual volunteer day in their name with a specific charity or cause they cared deeply about.
There is no one specific, right way to do this, just whatever you feel is more fitting for the person you are honoring.
Create an Online Memorial Page
With the world becoming increasingly digital, a digital memorial page is a great way to help people come together and share thoughts and memories in one place. It’s essentially like a memory book, but digitally.
There are many websites you can use to help you create your memorial page and create the perfect tribute to remember someone by. You can even set them up collaboratively so others can share too, and you can watch it build as people share their stories, pictures, anecdotes, and memories about the person you’re creating it for.
Carry on a Tradition
This is one of the most powerful ways you can honor someone. You simply keep doing something they did to keep them alive in your life.
It might be a recipe they cooked every Christmas, or watching a certain film at a certain time of year, putting the Christmas tree up on the same day, etc. There are so many things you can do to keep the traditions alive, so you can keep them close to you every time you perform them. It can be as big or as small as you wish; it can be a weekly thing or once a year, the important thing is that you keep it.
Say their Name
To really keep someone’s memory of love and to show how much they meant to you is simply to talk about them. Say their name out loud, involve them in your life, and talk about what made you think of them and how it made you feel. Share memories, “ say dad would have loved this.” It doesn’t need to be dramatic monologues, but mentioning them can help you, and others come to terms with your loss and keep them a part of your story, even if they’re not physically there anymore.
